September 22, 2014

So ive made it past my first week here in Arguaray! Its been a crazy one thats for sure! Funny story- so there is a family here (the mom and son were baptized  but now are inactive) anyways they are the Comba Family but I call them Familia Loca because they are CRAZY! I love them and they are alot of fun! We were visiting them and they took us to the kitchen and pulled out this plate full of something really nasty looking! and the smell was horrible! then one of the boys told me to look inside this tin and when he took the lid off there was a full chicken head! And a wave of stench filled the room. I wanted to throw up! So then the mom kept saying "come come!" (eat eat) and handed me some bread to put the meat on. My companion pointed out that there was chicken hair on the meat! We were both dying! Luckily there were dogs in the kitchen (of course because they are everywhere) so we kept throwing the meat when they werent looking and I would jsut eat the bread. But then the daughter gave me some and watched me until I ate it! (hot husband points for me!) I was so sick that night and the whole next day! After our lesson with them the boys wanted to arm wrestle me and I won thanks to my 4 brothers back at home for teaching me to be tough right?! So anyways when I talk about la familia loca that is them!

I definately feel the help of my savior every day. I know that I could not do this without him. Before my mission I always struggled with anxiety and stress but here its gone! Im not afraid of anything. such a blessing! I know that I have been set apart from the world because I feel different as a missionary! I feel the help of the savior stronger than ever here! The other day I was talking to my companion and she asked if I liked the mission. I said yes but its so hard. She said Im doing better than most missionaries she said most cry every day for the first 4 months. She said she wanted to go home for the first 4 months and she knew spanish! But she said I am doing really well with the language because I have a desire to learn and I try to talk as much as possible. She said most gringos dont talk at all. So that boosted my confidence even though I feel like Im the only missionary who has ever gone through this! haha my companion has alot of patience with me and I´m grateful. She doesn´t speak much so it makes learning the language hard...and when she does she speaks really fast. but she is obediant and I´m grateful for that.

So we spend alot of time at the branch presidents house and one day we were there eating lunch and their grandson Fabio was there. He doesnt want anything to do with the church but I asked him if we could just teach him because I needed practice. He let us! And at the end of the lesson I was bearing my testimony and I looked up and he had tears in his eyes (probably because he felt bad for me and my bad spanish) but it made me cry and I told him I am here because I want everyone to have what I have and thats the gospel. It was a good experience for me because I felt like I finally had an investigator of my own! he has agreed to let us teach him again.

So miracle of the week! we had a baptism! The first one here in arguaray in over 6 months! His name is Angel and he is 9 years old. He is the grandson of one of our investigators so Im hoping his example will get his grandpa to committ to baptism because he has been meeting with the missionaries for 14 years! the baptism was great. there isn´t a font here of course so he was baptised in a plastic tarp pool! haha that morning my companion and I straightened our hair (first time in 2 weeks!) and tried to look nice for the baptism. Anyways it wasnt 5 minutes after we started walking that its started to rain! We had to hide under a semi truck until it stopped! haha So basically Im never getting ready again because its not worth it! 

So I feel like nephi among a hundred lamen and lemuels here! The members here have alot of issues! None of them want to do anything and they wont give us referalls or help us with the work! Church attendance is horrible! Only 17 members were at church yesterday! In relief society it was just me and my companion and the teacher! It makes our work a million times harder because we dont have the support of the branch. The branch president and his wife are frustrated and there is alot of contention. My companion is really discouraged because this is a really tough area. They took missionaries out of this area for a long time and my companion thinks they will do it again because its not progressing. So we need miracles here! Everyone worships Virgens even some of the members! Just like in the book of mormon- false idols! Its so frustrating.

but I know I need to have faith that we can see miracles here. We do have some good investigators. Sixto and olga are an older couple that feel like my grandma and grandpa here! They have been meeting with the missionaries for 14 years as well...just waiting for Sixto to get his divorce papers. He read jesus the christ in 10 days! Golden! anyways the other day he texted us to come over and make banana bread. So on our way there we walked past this man and he said the quote of the week "Que linda la flaca! Por ti me vuelvo mormon!" (oh how pretty the skinny! For you I will return mormon!) haha freaking snakes! The only thing I can do is laugh. I am about to paint my skin brown so they leave me alone! 

Anyways we had a great night with olga and sixto! We drank mate and made pan de banana and we brought the D&C movies so we watched part of that and I was crying through the whole thing! It was so good to feel the spirit because sometimes its hard to feel it here in the world!

Yesterday after church we had lunch at the 1st counselors house with his family. One of their sons is learning english so they all were asking me to teach them english and I LOVED IT! Their younger son Isael wanted to know what my favorite scripture was so I showed him in his book of mormon and next to it he wrote ¨my favorite missionary Hermana Stewart¨ ah stuff like that makes all the hard times worth it! or when that cute little girl Nicole says HERMANA everytime she sees me! I think I am being taught more than I am teaching here. Ive already learned its possible to be happy without having much. And I love how loving the people are here! they all greet with a kiss on the cheek! doesn´t matter if youve never met them before! The people in north america need to be more like that! 

I do see miracles everyday! I am starting to be able to understand alot more. Its still hard to speak but people are patient with me. Its a miracle that I can even understand after only having 11 days here! I cant wait to get to the point where I can speak because I know thats when real miracles will happen! I bear my testimony that this church is true. ITs true in utah and its true in Argentina and the rest of the world. It doesnt matter how much you have or how little you have god blesses us in our own way. It doesnt matter if you are baptized in a plastic tarp or a fancy font...the way back to our Heavenly Father is the same. I tell everyone here that I cant understand everything but I can understand the spirit because its the same no matter where you go and for that I am soo grateful! The spirit doesnt have a language and all can feel it the same! 

More than anything I am grateful for the gospel and especially that I get to experience it with my whole family and we enjoy the blessings of the gospel together. People ask me here if my whole family is members and sometimes I feel bad saying yes because here alot of people are the only members in their family and its heartbreaking. I want to live with my family forever and so we have to be faithful together until the end! I love you all so much and Im grateful for your examples!

Con mucho amor,

Hermana stewart

September 3, 2014

I dont even know where to start! My mind is all over the place today! First off, I can't even believe that I'm leaving for Argentina on Monday! This is just crazy to me! I am finally to the point where I think I am ready as I'll probably ever be. There's really only so much I could learn at the MTC and the rest I'm just gonna have to figure it out there like the language haha. We had a really cool opportunity to skype last thursday for our TRC lesson. I was so nervous at first but when the lady called us and we answered it and saw her and these 2 little kids I got so excited! Shes a member from mexico and her little boy and girl were SOOO cute! oh my heck! We just talked to them and got to know them and the little girl was darling she just wouldn't stop talking in her cute little spanish and she was showing us all her pictures! And then we got to our lesson which was on faith. We weren't prepared for teaching kids because we thought we were just teaching one person, so we kind of had to change our lesson plan a little bit, but we asked the little boy what faith was and he smiled and just went off for like a whole minute about what faith was to him and the whole time he was playing with his little CTR ring and I just wanted to cry I was so happy! If I had to pick one thing I'm most excited for its the kids in argentina! I walked away from that lesson with the biggest smile on my face! Oh and that same night we committed our investigator to not only be baptized in a couple of weeks, but to get married in the temple because he is planning on proposing to his girlfriend soon and he said in a year from his baptism he will get married in the temple! So it was a great day! I can't wait for days like that on the mission!

Sunday was good as always. The best part was after the devotional they always have different movies you can go to watch and we happened to chose to go to the Testaments movie...well I was just excited because it had a little bit of a love story in it haha and there was 3 kissing scenes haha it was probably the funniest thing I've ever experienced at the mtc. So I got to watch a chick flick at the mtc ;) 

Last night after the devotional we had another MEETING! the devotional was by a member of the 70 and he talked about looking at every investigator as if it was your mom or dad or brother or sister. it was a great devotional! afterwards we always go back and talk about the devotional as a district. Well it turned out to be another really spiritual meeting, in fact I wanna say i've never felt the spirit that strong. One of the elders felt impressed that we should all talk about someone in our family that is inactive or not a member of the church. We all went around in a circle and talked about someone who is really close to us who struggles with the gospel. My heart was broken for some of those elders who have parents or close siblings who are really struggling. I wish SO badly that each person that we talked about could have been there. We care so much about these people and why is it hard for us? because the gospel brings happiness...true and lasting happiness and we want everyone to have it! Especially our close family members! We ended up going an HOUR over time because the spirit was so strong. I had the strongest impression the whole time that we should all write down our person on the whiteboard and that for the rest of the time here at the MTC we would each pray for every single person by name. Going home last night, no one spoke. The spirit was just too strong. I went home and got right on my knees and prayed individually for every person on that paper. I know that those people will come to find the gospel again. This is real life stuff! this is not a joke! This is peoples salvation we are talking about! It just felt SO real last night as we each talked about someone personal that we loved so much. 

Another thing that has been on my mind this whole week is My Purpose as a missionary. My purpose as a missionary is to invite others to come unto christ. Well this week, I've been thinking about what that really means and I realized that Others = EVERYONE! Everyone I come into contact with needs to hear this message. So I want to invite anyone who reads this email to do something for me....actually not for me but for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

I have had some very personal experiences with the Book of Mormon this week. And I want you all to have one this week to. So will you read the book of mormon with a specific question in mind, and search for an answer through the scriptures? Read until you have a personal experience with the scriptures! Read it like you have never read it before...I know that that's when the spirit is felt. If you don't know what to read I'll give you some suggestions of chapters that have strengthened my testimony this week: Alma chapters 5, 22, 23, 26, or 30. 

I would love nothing more than to hear from all of you who have been reading my emails and hear your experiences! I want to start fulfilling my purpose right now as a missionary, I dont want to wait until I get to Argentina. So I'm inviting you all to do that this week. And I can't wait to hear back from you all! 

Thanks for all the support and love and prayers! It is truly felt every single day I'm here. I'm sure my next letter will be FULL of adventures in ARGENTINA! 

Yo estoy muy animado! Gracias por todos! Hasta luego!!!! 

Oh before I forget, today has been the best day ever! wanna know why? because we got to go into this special Pillow room! After our service project this morning, the lady that was in charge of us took us to this secret room that no one knows about because no one is allowed in there, and it was FULL of pillows! I've never been so happy in my life haha it was basically like the celestial kingdom I'm pretty sure! 

Con mucho amor,

Hermana stewart 

August 20, 2014

Hola mi familia y amigos!

First things first, um can you believe that I am over half way done at the MTC?! I'm freaking out! we are leaving in 19 days! I feel extremely unprepared for Argentina! Although I have grown SO MUCH, I still feel like I have a million things I need to work on and I wont even start with the spanish haha I'm basically planning on getting to Argentina and just having a constant blank stare on my face! I love the MTC so much and I know its going to be so sad to leave this place. Its honestly the most spiritual place I've EVER been and I have met some amazing friends here! Its kind of fun being the only hermanas in our zone because we have gotten really close with all the elders. I have been completely shocked at how mature and grown up most (emphasis on the most) of them are! For just being little 18 year olds straight out of high school, I cannot believe the spiritual maturity of them. I am constantly striving to be more like them. I never thought I'd say this, but I forget that I'm 3 years older then them and most the time I think I act younger then them haha. 

My district is honestly the best! We have alot of fun together. We started playing this game called "what are the odds" so you say "what are the odds you'll (insert something crazy) and then the other person will say 1-18 or 1-58 or 1-100 and then you count down from 3 and if you both say the same number the person has to do that thing. For example, I got the WORST one ever! Hermana Allen at lunch the other day said "what are the odds you'll let me touch your neck for 30 seconds" (she knows my phobia of my neck being touched) I said 1 in 100 so they counted down and we both said 30!!! I DIED! like literally wanted to cry! I caused a huge scene in the lunch room and everyone was laughing. Now all the elders know that I have the weirdest fear ever. Anyways we have done some really really funny ones! I would also like you all to know that I have become the 4 square champion at gym time. We play as a district since its like the only "sport" you can do with elders and sisters together and its gets crazy! We also had a really cool opportunity this week to fast as a district for our language and for my companion Hermana Golder, and I totally have a testimony on the power of fasting and prayer...especially in numbers. I wouldn't say that things got any easier for us this week...I'll get to more of that later, but I will tell you that prayers have been answered and hearts have been changed for the better and I know that even though Heavenly Father doesn't take away our pains and trials, we can ALWAYS learn from what we are given. 

My companion is slowly recovering and things are slowly getting better, but Sunday night I really started to feel this huge weight on my back and I got so overwhelmed I didn't know what to do. I haven't slept in 4 nights. I would lay in bed and just toss and turn and if I would fall asleep it would only be for a half hour or so and it finally caught up to me..Monday morning I would say was my breaking point.I have felt like a failure so far on my mission because I have felt like I'm not working hard enough, I'm not getting the language fast enough, I'm missing class, I'm struggling to focus, I even felt like I was failing with loving my companion because sometimes it was just plain hard!  I finally went in to the psychologist because I felt like I really needed to get some help. He made me take a stress/anxiety test and luckily my results were above the point of needing serious help but I told him I just wanted to talk things out! He was so helpful and I realized alot of things about myself as I talked to him. I realized that I put alot of pressure on myself and I base my success off results. Well I quickly realized after talking to him that it is not going to work for me on my mission to think like that because if I am basing my success as a missionary off of results, I'm going to always feel like a failure because people have their agency. He asked me how he things Heavenly Father feels of me as a missionary and what he bases my success off of....I immediately began crying because I knew that my Heavenly Father is proud of me and as long as I'm doing my best, thats all that matters. I can't do more than that. The thing that has been hard for me is always having to be responsible for someone else too. When I was at school, I was all on my own to get good grades and feel successful, but here, I am really struggling to try to bring both of us to the level where I want us to be. But after I talked to the psychologist, I told my companion we needed to go for a walk and we just talked things out. I told her why I do things the way I do it and why I push myself to be a better missionary and she wasn't really getting it because for her she just wants to take it one thing at a time and doesn't like to challenge herself which is the hardest thing for me to deal with. Anyways later that day, we skipped gym to just talk and we were laying on our beds and I asked her if she would read the 4th missionary talk to me out loud. So we began reading it together (I've already read it but I wanted her to get something out of it too) so anyways she was reading it and I fell asleep. When I woke up she said with tears in her eyes "Hermana, I know why you challenge yourself and why you want to work hard" I said why and she said "I finished reading that talk and it all makes sense, I want to be the 4th missionary too" It was an answer to my prayers because she finally understood me and not only that but she found a desire to work a little harder! 

We got a "progressing investigator" this week, which means they aren't just our teacher pretending to be our investigator. Anyways our investigator is REAL! Most are just members pretending, but ours is 100% real and we had the best lesson EVER with him last night! the gift of tongues is real and I love leaving a lesson where you know that the spirit was teaching and not just you. After our lesson, we went to dinner and our investigator was eating at a table by himself so I told Hermana Golder we should go sit by him. We got to know him a ton better (plus he was able to speak to us in english a little bit because he is trying to learn english) but he started asking us some extremely deep questions and it was so cool to be able to testify to him and he said "you know I've read the book of mormon twice and I know alot about your church. I know I'll get baptized eventually, Im just not ready yet" so now our challenge is to figure out what is stopping him!  I can't wait to have experiences like that on the mission! Last night at our devotional, I had a very sacred experience that I wont go into detail about, but I KNOW that there is a family waiting for me in Argentina...maybe not to be baptized, but definitely in need of something I can give them. As scared as I am to go out there and be in a totally new environment and not knowing how to communicate, I know that I will love those people! I am holding nothing back, and I'm learning to work hard. I have never been so tired in my life, but its a different kind of tired. I've never been so stressed in my life, but its a different type of stress. I couldn't even put it into words if I tried. But I love it! I am astounded by the amount of revelation I receive each day! Its amazing what putting away worldly things does for the spirit! I dont even miss facebook, music, my cell phone because I have something so much better! I have learned to truly LISTEN and its cool how often I recognize the spirit speaking to me now! 

I want to end by telling you the advice that my branch presidents wife tells us EVERY single time she sees us. these are her exact words

1) Work harder than EVERYBODY else. No one else knows how to work as hard as you do.

2) Love like you've never loved before- learn to love. Everybody just wants to feel loved...isn't that crazy?!

3) Best part- SMILE!

I wish you could all hear her when she says it because she says it so powerfully and with tears in her eyes every single time. I Am working really hard on those 3 things right now! 

Anyways I'm out of time, but I just want to thank everyone for the love and support and letters! I wish I had the time to personally write everyone! But know that I love and pray for you always! 

-Hermana Stewart

August 27, 2014

Hello friends and family!

I seriously am in shock that its already wednesday again! Ive been gone for a month! Can you believe that? I get my flight plans tomorrow (hopefully) and hopefully I'll hear about my visa soon too. We will be leaving for argentina in a week and a half! I'm legit freaking out! I think my spanish is regressing not progressing! Monday, as a district we decided to speak in spanish all day. My companion wasn't there when we decided it and when she got back and found out she was so mad because she hates speaking spanish so basically I got ignored all day. And I only know like 100 words of spanish so I said the same things over and over again haha It really showed me how much I DONT know! And it freaked me out. But I know that I really wont learn the language until I'm out there anyways so I'm trying really hard not to stress too much about it. 

I have been learning more important things here at the MTC though. This week has been a difficult one but FULL of miracles. My companion told me something the other day that opened my eyes she said "Hermana, you've taught me something while we have been here" she told me that ever since she has been here I've taught her how to see the tender mercies of the lord in her life. It was kind of shocking to me because I realized that there have been so many tender mercies here at the MTC in my own life yet I haven't even been recognizing them until now.

Oh guess what? our investigator is getting baptized!!! He hasn't told us that yet because he is still pretending to be an investigator for us but in real life he is getting baptized in october! he is a really tough investigator! He loves to question EVERYTHING and give us deeeep doctrinal questions that I wouldn't even know how to answer in english! Sometimes I leave our lessons feeling really frustrated because whenever we have a good lesson planned he takes it a whole different direction and I can't understand what the heck he is saying haha but hes great and I realized the other day in one of our lessons that the reason I get frustrated is because I really care about him and want him to have the gospel! It makes me so excited to get to Argentina and find people! I just gotta get this language thing down first! I had to speak in sacrament meeting on sunday and give a talk in spanish! Its crazy here the branch president stands up after the sacrament and calls on 2 people to stand up and talk! so you never know who it is going to be! I am scared because I know in 3 sundays I'll probably be standing up in a church in Argentina doing that same thing! I am sure I've already said this before but sundays are literally my favorite day ever! I love being a sister training leader because I get to be apart of some of the coolest meetings ever! My branch president always talks about not just having meetings, but having MEETINGS! He says that we should never just have meetings, we should have meetings where the spirit is present and everyone is learning and feeling uplifted. Well last night we definitely had a MEETING.
So a little background info....my companion has still been struggling a little here and there but she has been improving. Well monday night when we all got mail, she started reading her emails and just took off outside with the other hermana in our district. I went looking for her and found out that she had just found out her uncle had passed away. it was a rough night. I took her into a room and just let her cry and I was trying everything I could to comfort her. It wasn't working. I said the longest prayer of my life with her and I broke down too. Afterwards she told me alot of things that were really answers to my prayers because I have felt like I'm failing as a missionary and she thanked me for everything and said that I reminded her of her mom and she knows there is a reason why we are together. She said I am the reason she is still here and if it wasn't for me she would have gone home. I broke down crying because I know it wasn't because of me...I had nothing to do with it. I have just been working so hard on trying to follow to spirit to know what to say and how to act with her and of course, the spirit can't lie! It was a real testimony builder to me. Heavenly Father ALWAYS makes up for our weaknesses, because I have felt like I haven't been doing enough, and without his help I would not be able to do this. 

So anyways as she was struggling, I asked her what her favorite scripture was and she said D&C 58:3-5 so I got out my scriptures and read it outloud to her...It talks about how we can't see with our natural eyes the things to come but that after our tribulation comes the blessings. Well for some reason I continued to read vs. 6 and it said "you are being prepared to bear testimony of things to come" WOW! I know that is true. I know that no matter what we are going through and how hard we think it is, our hearts are being prepared to testify of the truth. Some people take trials as God doesn't love them, or he has abandoned them. But the true power comes from when we take that trial and turn it into an opportunity to testify. So yesterday we were teaching another investigator named Emilia. Her sister died when she was younger and its been hard on her ever since. Well something amazing happened in that lesson...Hermana Golder was able to testify of the resurrection and the spirit was really strong and Emilia finally committed to coming to church and to prepare to be baptized. Its really cool when you finally find out what an investigator needs! Anyways after the lesson, Hermana Golder switched to depressed mode and it was kind of scary because I literally felt the spirit leave and she just started to stare off. I took her outside and tried to talk to her and nothing was working. We had to miss another lesson because she just wouldnt talk. I told her she needed to go off on her own and say a prayer....finally she agreed and while she was in a room praying, I got the feeling I needed to ask someone to give her a blessing. So I asked our district leader and he said he would....so after she was done, ALL the elders in my district came into the room and told her they were going to give her a blessing. Ok coolest moment of my entire life! 8 Elders surrounding her with their hands on her head. I have never felt priesthood power quite like that! and the coolest part was that the Elder that gave the blessing didn't know her situation or that her uncle had passed away, but he said in the blessing that angels on the other side of the veil were there with her. I lost it (I cry alot here its becoming normal haha) It was just a neat experience for us as a district and the best part was that the spirit was with her the whole rest of the day! She instantly changed! The priesthood is amazing! Afterwards, I told all the Elders that they have to always live worthy to hold that priesthood power because it is so powerful! 

Last night we had a district meeting after the devotional and its one of those meetings I wont ever forget. We didn't have anyone in the branch presidency there to lead it so we were leading it all on our own. I wish I could even begin to describe what happened in that meeting, but we became closer than ever as a district. I wish every single person could experience a meeting like that! I cant wait to tell President Doman that we had a MEETING! After a meeting like that it was probably the hardest thing Ive ever had to do to not hug all the elders in that room! We are like a family and so its hard not to be able to give hugs! Not because I like them, but because I love them like I would my brothers! Its also really hard not to be able to hug our Branch president! 

Anyways this letter is all over the place because I forgot my paper with everything that has happened this week. But life here at the MTC is great and I love being a missionary! I love the knowledge that I have of this gospel. I love that I am able to grow and learn and become better each and every day! 

Well I'm out of time! 

Love you all! 

-Hermana Stewart

August 13, 2014

Wow! I honestly dont even know where to start with this email. It has been quite the week...so this might be all over the place. So I'll start off with some of the funny/good times this week. Last p-day after I emailed, we went to Jamba juice and great harvest for our lunch and I ran into a girl from brigham city (the one that helped me by all my clothes for my mission) anyways that was so fun to see a familiar face. One of the hardest things for me has been to not have any familiar faces around here! All the other sisters in my district have friends all over the place and I literally dont know anyone! I guess thats what I get for going when I'm 21 ;) I love meeting new people, but I'm really missing family and friends from back home and I never thought I would experience that especially since its only the second week. But I did have a tender mercy from the lord on sunday....I was getting really homesick at church because for some reason when I'm in sacrament meeting I just wanna be with my family (i was like that at college too) anyways I said to myself "man I really wish I could be home and have my mom make a roast and rolls for sunday dinner. Well guess what was for lunch right after church? ROAST! and it was actually good! I kind of cried when I saw that was what was for dinner because I felt like it was a little blessing for me (sounds dumb I know haha).

Sunday is my favorite day of the week. I always have to tell myself...just make it to sunday! Although its jammed packed with meetings, the spirit is the strongest I have EVER felt it! and its so good! For relief society we got to listen to music and the spoken word and then Eliza Rose the relief society president spoke to all the sister missionaries (side note- did you know that I am 1 of 20,000 sister missionaries serving right now? thats more than there was sister members after the pioneers crossed the planes!) She told a story about a rock climber (thought you boys would enjoy this) So there was this rock climber who fell and right before he hit the ground, his be-layer (is that what they are called? haha) outstretched his arms to save the rock climbers life. Anyways the point of the story is if you were that rock climber, would you give him a used rope for christmas? No you would remember him, you would always remember him. She related that to how jesus christ outstretched his arms on the cross and suffered for us so that we can live. How do we repay him? We remember him, we always remember him....I loved that story! Before relief society started, we sang "As sisters in Zion" except it was a new version! Janice kapp perry wrote new lyrics for sister missionaries! I'm not joking I was a MESS singing it! the spirit was extremely strong! In fact, if possible mom could you send me the lyrics to that song?! I love being apart of this work, even though its extremely hard, when you feel the spirit like that it makes it so worth it. I set a goal for myself to read the book of mormon cover to cover before I leave the MTC...that seems like it would be easy because we study the scriptures all day right? well its almost impossible to find time to read the scriptures just for yourself, I'm always studying them for our lessons and what not. So its kind of a challenge for me but I'm loving it! I've never read the book of mormon in 6 weeks so this is a fun goal for me! I'm almost half way done, so I actually might could read it twice haha. I LOVE the book of mormon! I have come to realize this week that there is an answer to every single question in that book! No joke. I found some scriptures this week that helped my companion with a VERY personal situation that I didn't think would be able to be answered by the scriptures, but I found one! Its so cool!  

Also, I think heavenly father is trying to teach me some serious lessons because I have been noticing the word "charity" sooo much in the bible and book of mormon. For example, I found this scripture in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 that talks about how even though you speak with tongues and have the gift of prophecy and understanding all mysteries and all knowledge, and have all faith, feed the poor, and even give your body to be burned, if you dont have charity YOU ARE NOTHING! That hits hard! Its something that I am trying so hard to gain and to learn about because I never realized how stressed it is in the scriptures. One of the trials this week was our zone leaders being disrespectful and rude to us sisters and the new district the night we went to go meet them. I have been having a really hard time respecting them as my zone leaders because they are so rude and just not examples of how leaders should be, but I found that scripture during our zone meeting and I realized I need to be better at showing others love even when it is not returned. And so after that meeting, me and hermana allen the other sister training leader decided we would be nicer to them and guess what? They actually like us now! I wouldn't say they are any more mature, or that they really go out of their way to be nice and respect us, but something in them changed a little (maybe its because president doman had a talk with them but either way they have changed). Luckily the district in our zone that we have been having a hard time with is leaving on monday (except there is an elder I'm a little sad to see go ;) dont worry I'm just "taking notes" like my president told me to! haha) I realized there is a reason my badge goes on my left side- it reminds me to lock my heart and the hormones bounce off my name tag haha 

Another cool scripture I found was in 1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when i became a man, I put away childish things" What a cool scripture! I thought about it this way...sometimes little children are demanding and they can only think about themselves, thats how they are supposed to be. And they dont understand how to put themselves in other peoples shoes and thought how applicable that is to me! I changed the scripture to Before I was a missionary, I spake as a little girl, I understood as a little girl, I thought as a little girl, but when I became a missionary, I put away childish things. I just know that its time for me to make some serious changes. Its so true that all your weaknesses come out on your mission! I am seeing some serious weaknesses in myself this past week. And I know its time to work on those things so I can become a better missionary. One of those things is charity. 

So I know I already said this, but I absolutely LOVE my branch president. I'm not joking, hes going to be an apostle one day I swear it haha. Anyways In one of our zone meetings on sunday, he was talking and testifying to us about how we have ministering angels on the other side of the veil and by ministering he means people who are related to us and know us. I completely lost it, because I felt grandma stewart there in that room, it was amazing. I know that what he said is true. There are people on the other side of the veil helping missionaries, and I've definately felt that this week. 

One day in the middle of class, my teacher told us to get up and go run around the campus. We were all so confused and the sisters were like "in our skirts?!" and he said yes. So I picked the wrong day to wear my uncomfortable shoes and my pencil type skirt! Imagine that! He made us run around all the buildings and then when we got back he said "now we are going to do wall sits for 3 minutes" oh my heck! I was dying! We were all so confused, and then after our wall sits he said "ok now planks for 2 minutes" haha It was the craziest thing ever. But while I was struggling to stay alive, the thought came to me that this is how the mission is going to be, not only physically but emotionally and mentally draining as well. but I can't give up. 

So on that note, I'll talk about a few struggling that I've experienced this week. Things with my companion have gotten worse. She is struggling more than I've seen any missionary struggle here. When we get to class she just completely shuts off and she refuses to speak spanish which is making it IMPOSSIBLE for me to learn! I feel so behind because we miss class every day to go up to main campus to talk to a counselor and we have missed 2 lessons as well. My stress level goes up so much when we miss things because you all know me...I hate missing things and getting behind. But Heavenly Father wants me to learn something and so I'm trying my hardest to be patient. Its hard to have a companion who literally cant have self motivation! I have to take everyone on me and do the work of 2 because shes struggling so bad. I haven't slept in a week because I'm up every night with her trying to help her. The other night she just completely lost it and was hysterically crying and I sat outside with her for HOURS just trying to calm her down and finally I suggested we call the branch president. So I called him at 11 at night and of course he didn't answer so I left him a voicemail and then called the 1st couselor and he answered and said he was in st george but he and his wife were able to talk to her on the phone and help her calm down a little. President Doman came and talked to her the next day and was with her for 3 hours! Monday, I fasted all day for her and for us as a companionship. I'm trying everything in my power to help her out and to forget about myself because I realize this isn't about me and its not even about the language or learning preach my gospel perfectly. Its about people. One of the hardest things for me is companionship inventory...I am the one who always brings it up. Talk about uncomfortable. Its hard to tell someone in a nice way what "we" can improve on. but yesterday i finally just told my companion yesterday "listen we have to work harder than any other missionaries here... and we HAVE to start speaking spanish. And from now on you are in charge of our companion study so its all up to you. We are going to pray in spanish and bear our testimonies in spanish, and I'm going to challenge you because you need it" So we will see how that goes. I decided I dont like being a leader sometimes haha. 

We had the WORST lesson I think any missionary has ever had yesterday. I was extremely frustrated afterwards that I couldn't even talk about it. I cried during the entire devotional last night because I was so frustrated. I basically talked the whole time, but the lesson was all over the place and we weren't prepared and our investigator wouldn't commit to anything. I dont even like thinking about it now it was that bad! So yesterday was a really tough day for me, and tonight we have a harder lesson that I'm stressing pretty bad about it. So say some prayers for me around 6 tonight please :) 

Well I'm out of time, but I want you all to know I love you and think about you every single day! Thank you for the love and support and letters, I dont think people realize how special letters are to missionaries! Its all we have to look forward to besides food ;) I hope that everything back at home is good! happy birthday to dallin I was thinking about you all day on monday! and hope you boys are having so much fun on your backpacking trip! hopefully you take pictures! 

Love,

Hermana Stewart

Ashley's first letter  from the MTC!

Wednesday, August 6, 2014 12:16 PM, Ashley Stewart <ashley.stewart@myldsmail.net> wrote:

HOLA!!!

So first let me start with a scriptures because we all know missionaries love scriptures: D&C 31:3 "Lift up your heart and rejoice for the hour of your mission is come!" Its here! 

oh my heck so things are so so so soooo crazy here! I haven't had one second to breathe since I got here! I'm stressing out just writing this email haha. Anyways let me just say....I HATE IT HERE!!!! Ok thats a huge lie and I can't lie as a missionary! I LOVE IT!!! I love everything about being a missionary....except spanish. I hate the spanish language! But more about that later...

so I can't believe I've been here for a week. its true when they say days feel like months and weeks feel like days here. 

So I live on west campus which let me just tell you is seriously the most amazing blessing ever. (those apartments that we drove past on our way to the MTC and mom asked if thats where the missionaries live....thats where I live! and those elders that we saw across the street thats where I cross the street everyday to go to my classrooms!) So being on west campus is awesome for many sons! 

1) SO MUCH FREEDOM! (seriously boys pray that you get called spanish speaking because its awesome....minus the language) But really though we get to be outside all the time and we get to walk down to a strip mall that has like jamba juice and great harvest...we are going to go there for lunch today. 

2) everyone here is spanish speaking so we say Hola 1000000 times a day and it just bonds everyone a little more because we are learning the same language

3) Its not as stressful as it is on main campus! We were just there after we went to the temple, and I swear everyone there looks like they hate the mtc haha we just laugh all the time and have so much fun over here. Everyone on main campus is jealous that we are here....

So my companion is Hermana Golder from NEW ZEALAND and she is awesome. I cant wait to send you the video of her speaking in her accent. Its so cool to learn more about other peoples culture and she uses words that I have NEVER heard before haha I have to ask her all the time "what?" haha because she says the most hilarious things.like "where's the rubbish bin?" (garbage can) or lollies (candy) or Tog (swimming suit) and she always says you's when she is talking to us. I really love her as a person....but I am struggling with the companionship. She is struggling really really bad and she is getting so stressed out and thats been really hard for me because she just shuts off during our lessons and I have to take over. I dont know if you got my letter about what happened the other day, but she took a sleeping pill on friday night and within 5 minutes starting FREAKING out! it was so scary because she was acting like she was drunk and we couldn't get her to relax and lay down and we had to help her walk and go to the bathroom (talk about companion bonding haha) so anyways me and hermana rich had to run to go find someone to come give her a blessing but it was 11 at night and everyone here is super obedient or something because no elders would answer their doors!! But then this tiny little security guard drive by in this golf cart and asks what we are doing and we told him we needed help. He wouldn't come into our apartment and hermana golder couldn't move her legs so it was a little frustrating but he called the doctor and the doctor told him to take her to the emergency room. So instead of getting my much needed sleep, I had to go to the emergency room until 3 in the morning. It turned out to just be a reaction from her sleeping pill and all the stress. So the next day we had to miss our lesson with our investigator so that she could sleep and we had to meet with the MTC president who basically told her if she can't handle the stress they are going to have to send her to another mission. But he was nice and told her to do whatever she needed to do to relieve her stress and so we missed all of our classes and I just had to follow her around. It was so frustrating for me because I hate missing out on things I'm supposed to be at. We had to go to the doctor on main campus on monday so we missed our lesson once again, and The doctor ended up sending her to a psychologist and I was waiting for 2 hours. I could feel myself getting so frustrated and feeling like I was being a bad missionary because I was missing out on our lessons and class...but I got humbled very fast. I realized that I am a missionary NOW....not in 5 weeks when I go to argentina, but NOW. And by being a good companion and caring for her, I'm fulfilling my purpose as a missionary. If there's one thing Ive learned this week, its that love is what matters...not the language, not even necessarily the words you say or the lessons you teach, but true love. And so I am working on charity because charity is the pure love of christ and without charity you have nothing! But dont get me wrong, I LOVE my companion, she really is the sweetest person and is so good at having the spirit with her at all times, I am just frustrated with the situation we have been put in and I feel bad that she is having such bad anxiety and depression. I had to sit down with her and just give her advice and say a prayer with her. It easily helps me forget about myself because even though I am struggling, shes having a harder time, and I need to be there for her. So pray for my companion if you could :) 

Ok so heres a story you'll all love to hear! K so our investigator is marcelo and we had to teach him a lesson on friday (2 days after getting here!) all in SPANISH! (have I mentioned I hate spanish?) haha so hermana golder and I had this lesson planned out and we felt like we should teach him about the plan of salvation. So she taught that God is our loving heavenly father, and that he loves us and about our pre-earth life. My part of the lesson was our purpose here on earth because he thinks that all we are here for is to live and die. Well I thought my part of the lesson was going good and I wanted to have him read alma 34:32 that talks about how this life is the time to prepare to meet God. Well spanish scriptures are a little different than english and I was just picturing the scripture being in the same place as it is in the english scriptures so I asked him to read the bottom of the page...which I didn't realize was vs. 35. He doesn't read very well so I went over to him and was helping him read...we we get to the end and he asked what malvado was...of course I didn't know so I asked my companion to look it up in the english scriptures and she said 'wicked' I knew I was in trouble after that because that was not supposed to be what that verse said. After the lesson got over I looked up the scripture that I had him read here it was: For behold, if ye have procrastinated the day of your repentance even until death, behold, ye have become subjected to the spirit of the devil and he doth seal you his; therefor, the spirit of the Spirit of the Lord hath withdrawn from you, and hath no place in you, and the devil hath all power over you; and this is the final state of the wicked" 

WHAT?! I was mortified! we laughed about it after, but it was so embarrassing. Teaching lessons in spanish is so stressful. But I just keep telling myself that it will come. Honestly I believe el don de lenguas ( the gift of tongues) is real...but for me I think its more to be able to understand, not speak. I understand everything my teacher says and thats a huge blessing for me. But to form sentences is another story. I'm freaking out because we have another lesson tonight! But Something cool that the spirit taught me on sunday was that I think God gives us language barriers so that we have to show it. If I can't express how I feel in words, I can express it in actions and I think that will be so important when I get to argentina. 

So thursday night we got to meet our branch presidency and you guys! I am extremely blessed! They are the most wonderful people I have EVER met! my branch president is the most amazing man and I honestly feel like I have known him forever! and his wife is equally as awesome! Such an inspired man. Sunday in my interview with him, I sat down and he just read me like a book! He said that I feel like his daughter and even kind of look like his children and that he is proud of me like a dad is proud of his daughter. then he said "the spirit has a way of making things very clear very fast" and that he knew things about me before I even got to the mission. I thought that was so cool. He then asked me " do you have a boyfriend?" and I said no and he said "Good for you!" and then he said I want you to just take notes...take notes of the elders around you and become very good friends with them...especially the ones that impress you....like Elder Smith (our zone leader) I think he's an impressive guy dont you? haha I laughed and said yeah. But I just thought it was so funny that that was his advice to me was to take notes on the elders that impress me because I haven't even thought twice about elders here...but he basically looked at me and was telling me that he thinks I'm going to find my husband here hahaha I just laughed. He then said something that totally caught me off guard because I wasn't expecting it he said "you're on a mission for your future family...for your children. and you're going to be an amazing mother." That just proved to me right there that he really does know me and the spirit has told him some things about me because my future family is already so important to me. I wish so badly you could meet him! Oh his name is President Doman I forgot to mention that. ANyways you would love him! 

I got called to be the sister training leader the day after I got here! Lets talk about stressful haha Here I am, not knowing anything, and now I have to be in charge of all the sisters and train them?! But its good because it keeps me extremely busy. I was expecting sunday to be relaxing....NO! I woke up at 6 and had to be to a leadership meeting at 7....and literally was in meeting after meeting until 9:30 that night! So insane! I went to 5 leadership meetings....district training meeting and zone training meeting. Church was awesome though...it was the first time in my life I think I have ever fasted an entire 24 hours! like literally we ate at 5 saturday night and dinner wasn't until 5:20 sunday! (parker would die here haha) but the spirit was so strong and I didn't even think about how hungry I was. I love being surrounded by missionaries 24/7 its the coolest thing ive ever experienced! 

ok so lets talk about the food! Lets just say it has not done good for any of us sisters haha IM DYING! send me some real food please! haha for example....so they always have on this whiteboard outside the cafeteria what is for the next meal....and we are walking up for dinner and it says "peg leg chicken" hahahaha what?! peg leg chicken!? you can only imagine! But honestly the food tastes pretty good, but it is not doing good things to my body haha. and my poor companion is having an even harder time because she isn't used to american food. anyways if you ever wanna be nice and send a package my way with some real food that would be much appreciated ;) speaking of packages...Hermana allen another missionary in my district gets a package everyday from her mom and its always a surprise to see what she gets! her mom sends her the most craziest things! like yesterday her mom sent her a pull-up bar! 

Anyways I am sooo out of time!  and I still have so much I want to say! I just want you all to know that I love being a missionary. I love putting on my nametag every morning. 

Yo se que la iglesia de Jesucristo es verdadera y yo se que el libro de mormon es la palabra de Dios. Yo se que Jose Smith es un profeta de Dios. Yo se que el don de lengas es verdadera. Amo a mi salvador Jesucristo. Yo agredicido por mi familia y amo mi familia mucho!!! 

love you all! 

-Hermana Stewart

Farewell talk

My topic comes from a talk Elder D. Todd Christofferson gave this last april general conference titled the Ressurrection of Jesus Christ. I know that we usually bear our testimonies at the end of a talk, but I want to begin by bearing you my testimony that I know that Jesus Christ lives.  I would not be standing here this afternoon giving my farewell talk and heading to Argentina in 2 ½ weeks if I did not know this most important fact. I have had too many personal experiences of the lord’s hand in the individual details of my life to deny his existence. One of them being what led me to my decision to serve a mission.

 “Many years ago … a writer for a newspaper was asked an important question, ‘What would be the most important news the world could receive?’ ”   “[The writer] thought and thought about the question, he talked to many people, and read all he could in an effort to find an answer for himself. And finally, he printed his answer, ‘To know that Jesus Christ lives today would be the most important news the world could receive. In fact, if He lives today, then we too will live eternally as He said’ ” 

Brothers and sisters, we are SO blessed to already have this knowledge and testimony that Jesus Christ lives! The Resurrection of Jesus Christ brings a message of hope.  If everyone knew that the crucified Christ actually rose on the third day what benign peace would come to souls now troubled with doubt and uncertainty!

 No words mean more to me than when an angel said to the weeping Mary Magdalene  when she came to the tomb to care for the body of their Lord, “Why seek ye the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen.”

Elder D. Todd Christofferson said “As bidden by the angels, Mary Magdalene looked into the tomb, but it seems that all that registered in her mind was that the body of the Lord was gone. She hurried to report to the Apostles and, finding Peter and John, said to them, “They have taken away the lord out of the sepulcher and we know not where they have laid him.” Peter and John ran to the place and verified that indeed the tomb was empty. In John chapter 20 vs. 8 it seems to indicate that John apparently was the first to comprehend the magnificent message of resurrection. He writes that “he saw and believed.” Whereas the others to that point “’knew not the scripture, that Jesus must rise again from the dead.”

I found it really interesting as I studied more on the topic of the resurrection, that despite what the Savior had repeatedly said of his death and rising again, they had not understood. In the book of Luke we read about how those who saw the resurrected Lord came to tell the apostles. Luke probably heard the account from eye-witnesses, perhaps even from the mother of Jesus. He records that the women returned from the sepulcher and told all these things to the apostles and others. But their testimony was too fantastic and seemed to the apostles in luke 24:11 “as idle tales and they believed them not.”

I wondered why the women were not believed. Would we, in the supposedly enlightened 21^st century, have responded any differently? Would we have had the simple faith to believe that the Savior had indeed risen from the dead, as He, Himself, had said he would? Or would we have demanded proof; would we have concluded that the women were hysterical or mistaken or driven from rationality by their overwhelming grief? We can ask ourselves these very questions today because we must find out for ourselves if Jesus Christ truly does live and was resurrected.

I was really intrigued by the story of Mary Magdalene in John chapter 20. Mary is a favored woman in the scriptures. She had the privilege of coming to know and love the Savior. We do not know much about Mary, but we do know that she was the first person to see the risen Lord. I began to wonder why.

 Was her faith the most sufficient?

Was she the most prepared to receive the Savior?

 Did Christ know she would recognize Him when He called her name because she had before?

For whatever reason she was favored, she went to the tomb that morning and here an important lesson was learned. She went seeking the Savior. In her hour of greatest need, in deep despair and longing for answers, she did what she had learned to do- she turned to Christ.  When she looked again into the empty tomb, she saw two angels in white and they said to her “woman, why weepest thou?” she replied, “Because they have taken away my lord, and I know not where they have laid him.”

At this point, she only thought in terms of human grave robbers, or others who had defiled the tomb of her Master, not of God’s miracle. At that point, it was beyond her comprehension. It was then she turned herself back and saw Jesus standing but knew not that it was Jesus. He also asked her, Woman why weepest thou?  Whom seekest thou?” It wasn’t until He spoke her name that she recognized the resurrected Lord.

Mary was a woman who had a great level of knowledge of the teachings of Christ. She lived on the earth and really knew the Savior during his ministry. Yet still, she did not recognize him at first! Mary’s level of understanding was that Christ was dead. Weeping in frustration and sorrow, she sought to find him. She did not recognize His voice at first because in her mind it was not possible. But then- it was! Mary’s testimony of Christ increased. She reached a new level of understanding.

 How often do we come to a point in our lives when we are comfortable and confident in our relationship with Christ? Trials provide an opportunity for us to seek the Savior just as Mary did. And as we do so, our understanding and knowledge will increase. Mary did not recognize the Savior until He called her name. Then, suddenly, light and understanding came.  Christ was risen; he lives; there is life after death. The savior stood by her in her moment of learning. He waited patiently until she was ready, and then he taught. I have come to know that through every trial our faith is tested. Sometimes faith precedes the miracle, but other times we must have faith to trust in God’s will.  He died for us, but the true miracle is that he was resurrected and now, LIVES for us. We can and should have 100% faith in him because of that.

But, as Elder Christofferson said “Given the reality of the Resurrection of Christ, doubts about the omnipotence, omniscience, and benevolence of God the Father- who gave His only begotten son for the redemption of the world- are groundless. Doubts about the meaning and purpose of life are unfounded. Jesus Christ is in fact the only name or way by which salvation can come to mankind. Faith truly is more than imagination or psychological invention. There is ultimate and universal truth, and there are objective and unchanging moral standards, as taught by Him. The saviors miracles were real, as is His promise to His disciples that they might do the same and even greater works.”

But even Knowing what the resurrection means to us, and the miracles that come from it, how often do we act as Thomas did in John 20:25 when he said “Except I shall see in his hands the print of the nails, and put my finger into the print of the nails, and thrust my hand into his side, I will not believe.”?  I take caution in my judgment towards Thomas, because I realize that I am probably more like him than I would like to admit.  I imagine he didn’t want to just live off of the other disciples testimonies of the resurrection of the Lord, he wanted to know for himself.  A week later, Jesus came and stood in the midst of the disciples and said unto them “Peace be unto you. Then saith he to Thomas, Reach hither thy finger, and behold my hands; and reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into my side; and be not faithless, but believing.” And Thomas answered and said unto him, My lord and my God. Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou has seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.” Jesus’ response to Thomas serves to remind him-and all of us- that belief based on faith is more admirable than belief based on experience. Those who expect all religious truth to be proven experientially before they will believe ask for too much. It is more blessed to walk by faith through life, secure in the knowledge that god will reveal what we need to know, line upon line and precept upon precept.

Elder christofferson goes on to say “consider for a moment the significance of the Resurrection in resolving once and for all the true identity of Jesus and the great philosophical contests and questions of life. If jesus was in fact literally resurrected, it necessarily follows that He is a divine being. No mere mortal has the power in himself to come to come to life again after dying. Because He was resurrected, Jesus cannot have been only a carpenter, a teacher, a rabbi, or a prophet. Because he was resurrected, jesus had to have been a God, even the only Begotten Son of the Father.”

As I have been studying the book of Mormon this past week, I noticed that as the prophesied birth of Jesus drew near, there were those among the ancient nephite and lamanite peoples who believed, though most doubted. In due course, the sign of his birth arrived and all knew. Even so today, some believe in the literal Resurrection of Christ, and many doubt or disbelieve. But some know. In due course, all will see and all will know as it says in Mosiah 27:31 indeed every knee shall bow and every tongue confess before him.

Until that day, I want you all to know that I believe the many witnesses of the Saviors resurrection. I believe the testimonies found in the book of Mormon. And I believe the testimony of Joseph Smith who proclaimed “and now, after the many testimonies which have been given of him, this is the testimony, last of all, which we give of him: that he lives!”

He's Been There Before by Elder Whittle

The alarm bell rings at 6:30, I stumble to my feet

I grab my companions bedding and pull off his sheets

A groan fills the room, is it already time to arise?

It seems like just a second ago, I was able to shut my eyes

The morning activities follow- study, prayer and such

When it's time to leave the apartment, you feel you haven't accomplished much

"We have a super day planned,"

My comp. says with a grin

I lowly utter a faithless breath,

"Yeah, if anyone lets us in."

With the word of God and my faithful Schwinn, we ride off in the street prepared to

Face another day of humidity and heat

It's 9:30 in the evening, the day is almost through

My companion and I are riding home not accomplishing what we thought to do

We ride up to the mailbox, hoping to receive a lot

Only to look inside and hear my echo reverberate "air Box"

We go up to our apartment, the day is now complete

The only thing to show for our work is a case of blistery feet

It's past 10:30 p.m. My companion is fast asleep,

Silence engulfs me all about and I begin to weep

In the midst of sadness, I kneel down to pray

I need to talk to father, but I'm not sure what to say

"Oh, Father" I begin, "What happened to us today?

I thought we'd teach somebody, but everyone was away

My hands, my aching hands- worn, hurt and beat;

If our area was any smaller, we'd have knocked every street"

"Why on missions are the days so much alike?

The only difference about today was the flat tire on my bike

Will you send some cooler weather? The heat is killing me

I sweat so bad, it gets in my eyes, it's very hard to see"

"Why do I have to wear a helmet, isn't your protection enough?

People always laugh at me, and call me stupid stuff

Please send us investigators so I may give them what they lack

I want to give them Books of Mormon, the weight of them hurts my back"

"And what about my family: They don't have much to say

I'm sick of not hearing from home day after day after day

Oh Father, Why am I here am I just wasting time?

Sometimes I just want to go home, I'm sorry but that's on my mind"

"My companion, Heavenly Father, what are you giving me?"

The way he rides his bicycle, I don't think he can see

Now you have it, I can't go on, I don't know what to do

That, my Father in Heaven, is the prayer I have for you"

My prayer now finished, I stand up, then jump right into bed

I need my rest for tomorrow, we have another long day ahead

Sleep start to overtake me, I seem to drift away

Then it seems a vision takes me to another time in another day

I'm standing alone on the hill. The view is very nice

A man walks to wards me and says, "My name is Jesus Christ"

Tears of joy well up inside, I fall down to His feet

"Arise," He states, "Follow me to the shade. You and I need to speak"

My attention's towards my Savior, total and complete

He says, "Your mission is similar of what happened to me

I understand how you feel, I know what you're going through

In fact, it would be fair to say I've felt the same as you"

"I even know how you felt when no one listened to you

At times I felt not quite sure what else I could do

I know you don't like to ride a bicycle, for you a car would be sweet

Just remember the donkey I rode wasn't equipped with 21 speeds"

"I understand you don't like sweating, in fact it's something you hate

I remember when I sweat blood from ev’ry pore, oh the agony was great!

I see you don't like your companion- you'd rather have someone else-

I once had a companion named Judas who sold my life for wealth"

"It's hard to wear a helmet and have people make fun of you

I remember when they put thorns on my head and called me King of the Jews

So you feel burdened down by the weight of your pack

I recall how heavy the cross was when they slammed it on my back"

"Your hands hurt from tracting and knocking on doors all day

I guess when they pounded nails into mine, I ached in a similar way

It's hard not to hear from home when your family's not there to see

I lost communication on the cross and cried, "Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?"

"We have a lot in common, but there's a difference between us you see

I endured to the end and finished my mission, so follow and do like me"

He embraced me with His arms and His light filled me with His love

With tears in my eyes I watched as He went back to the Father above

I stood with awe and wonder when a beep rang in my head

I listened and heard the alarm, then realized I was in my bed

My companion let out a groan, "6:30 already, no way!"

I sat up and said, "Come on, I'll even carry your scriptures today!"

No matter what we go through,

When we feel we can't take more

Just stop and think about Jesus Christ,

He's been there before!

Brothers and sisters, I know that Christ lived, atoned, and was resurrected for each of us. He took my place, so that he could truly understand me and my unique trials and circumstances. I have a testimony that the savior makes all things right. That no injustice in mortality is permanent, even death, because he restores life again. No injury, disability, betrayal or abuse goes uncompensated in the end because of his ultimate justice and mercy.  Because of this we are all accountable to him for our lives, our choices, and our action, even our thoughts. Because he redeemed us from the fall, our lives are in reality His.

I feel so blessed to have been called to be one of his messengers and that he trusts me to preach his gospel. I know that as I go forward with faith in my Heavenly Father, I will see his miracles in my life as well as the lives of those I am going to meet in Argentina.  These past few weeks, I’ve been so worried about all the “changes” that are going to happen while I’m gone. I’ve been threatening all my friends that they can’t get married or have babies while I’m gone. I guess I can’t put everyone elses lives on hold while I’m gone, but if there is one thing that I am hoping and praying for is that I come home to find all of you with stronger testimonies of the Savior. I know this church is true and am so grateful to have this great news of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.